The Business of Love

Episode #25 How to Get the Passion Back

Episode #25  How to get the PASSION back into the Relationship

First of all… we are all human and we have challenges, issues, and everyday circumstances that lead us to shift our focus to what’s most important NOW.

The most common things that “move” us apart:

• Job stress - high levels of stress, high number of hours

 

• Life Changes:
• Medical situations
• Death in family
• New member of the family

• Kids

Both parties can feel it. The key is to ACT NOW rather than later.  

 

Action Steps

1. Talk about it. 
2. Decide what type of partner you want to be. “You get what you give.”

    3. Schedule something special

    4. Get back to your charming self.

    5.Make him/her a priority   - They used to be a priority

           a. Treat him/her with love

           b. Your partner deserves better than others.

    6. Implement ONE Simple Action Step (turning off TV when you get home)

 

New Podcast Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #24 How to Tame Your Man

Episode #23: How to Tame Your Man 

• Changing Behavior - Adjusting Behavior
  • Two ppl from two different worlds

• Never come at or attack your man for something he’s done. (Push - Push back)
• Adjusting behavior slowly but surely:  HOW.
  • Shaping behavior - Skinner
  • Acknowledge Small wins (too many ppl only recognize the “wrongs”)
  • Know it’s gonna take some time - Patience & Grace

 

• Frame question in a curiosity frame vs accusatory tone - 
  • Come from a place of love
  • Softeners
    • Because I care about our relationship
    • “I need your help on something” 
    • I’m having a hard time with this… 
    • I’m concerned about...

Action Steps

1. Never attack your partner for something they've done.

2. Realize there will be challenges along the way

3. Changing behavior is a process. 

4. Acknowledge "Winning" Behavior

5. Approach with Love

6. Use Curiosity Frames 

 

New Podcast Drops EVERY SUNDAY at 8am PST

Episode 23 Through Sickness and Health

Episode #24: Through Sickness & Health

In business… things go bad as well… a recession, a set back, a recall, a lawsuit.

• • Magical words from a traditional marriage vow.
  • Just met the woman of my dreams… 
  • December 2009 - Trip to Vail: A-Fib
  • 5 Years of declining health - Coronary Ablation in Oct, 2014
  • 2 Years of extreme sickness
  • Diagnosed with Amyloidosis in April of 2017

 

• 2.5 years of chemo, doc visits, and issues.

 

 

How to get through it - ACTION STEPS

• Accepting the situation as REAL right now.
• Mindset to prevail… to win. (your psychology)
• Prepare for the worst - Have the conversation (REAL)
  • Potential Outcomes - dying, unable to work or healing and working.
  • Destroy Us
  • Cripple Us - work hard to rebuild or reinvent ourselves.
  • Overcome.
• When you have these conversations and “prepared”, you can move forward with clarity and confidence.
• During moments of doubt, see yourself sharing your success story with others.

 

New Podcast Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode 22 - My Daughter's Journey through Divorce

Episode 21:  Kids and Divorce #2 - My Daughter Zoë

My wife and I were divorced when my daughter Zoë was nine years old. She was our youngest. Zoë had some challenges along the way... and now she's 21 years old, and we are going to talk about her journey.

Zoë - 9 yrs old

• Did you know we were having problems… 
• Your thoughts… psychology

So I told you….   

• How did you feel…
• innocence/denial

It happened?

• emotionally?

 

Challenges in High School: Gorman, Coronado, Beacon academy 

Relationship with me?

 

Relationship with mom?

New Podcast EVERY Sunday morning at 8am PST

Episode #21 Your Happiness is Your Responsibility

Episode #22: Your Happiness is YOUR Responsibility

• Two broken people don’t make a whole. Self-development and personal growth is imperative for relationship success.
• Early chemistry matures - Things change
  • Early on, we're always together.
  • Must develop or pursue you own interests. It's GREAT if you both have the same interests, yet both must find fulfilling activities.
  • Internal unrest - When feeling internal unrest, it's Your responsibility to find happiness.  It's not your partner's fault.  Look in the mirror first... as yourself: What can I do that fits into my current life situation that would make me happy.

 

Action Steps:

• Asking yourself the right questions - what would increase my happiness / what makes me happy that I’m not doing right now
• Continue to expand your interests or find new ones.
• You must make the decision to be the best version of you… continue to learn and grow.
• Asking about Happiness at your “Sex Meeting”...  Are you feeling happy right now?... or I prefer to ask a question that provides and answer I can actually work with… 0-10.
  • Follow up question:  Is there something we both can do to help you?

 

New Podcast EVERY Sunday at 8am PST!

Episode #20: When You're Feeling Needy in the Relationship

Episode #17: When you’re feeling NEEDY in the Relationship?

 

Typically one of two reasons:

1. not getting attention from spouse you are wanting
2. Not fulfilling your own needs

 

Action Steps

 

1. Have Open communication with your spouse… share your feelings, don’t keep them in.

 

1. Do a check within…  are you taking care of own needs?

 

1. 1. self-care
   2. spiritual care
   3. boundaries
   4. what else?

 

How: Rate yourself on 0-10 scale on the areas of your potential needs.

 

Next: put action plan together to make strides in the areas of focus.  

 

New Podcast Every Sunday at 8am PST

 

Episode #19: Football and Romance? - Managing the Football Season

Episode #28: Managing the Football Season

It’s that time of the year… it’s football season. A joy for some... a curse of others.

Thursday night FB, a few college games on Friday, Saturday - college all day, Sunday - NFL and then Monday night Football.

Message:  There has to be some balance… some give and take.

 

Business example: 

Client or Prospect:  If you are spending all of your time somewhere else, you’re not going to get the business.

 

• What you focus on Grows
• When you call on them when you need them… you won’t have the account for long

 

As a Leader:

• Jennifer example: Previous business partnership: Partner was focused on other things…
• National Sales Manager/Leader: If you’re not “watering” / investing in your team, you will lose your talent.  They will leave.
• Must put time into assets that grow your company.

 

Steven Covey… 7 habits of highly effective people… he talks about making emotion deposits into your partners account.  If you don’t put in deposits, you’re gonna run out of currency.

 

Action Steps:

• Be Proactive:  Invest in him/her prior to withdrawing from the “account”.  Put in some energy, love, some time - prior to day.
• example: Biz of Love Podcast, Church, Breakfast… it’s just about quality time.

New Podcast Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #18: The 3 Musts for a Successful Relationship

Episode #15: The 3 Musts for a Successful Relationship

1. Positivity
2. Vulnerability
3. Consistency

Positivity:  Nothing grows with negativity. Nothing positive happens with negativity. The skill of being positive or living in positivity is paramount to Relationship success.

Vulnerability: How vulnerable are you? Do you protect or insulate yourself from judgement with your partner?  Being balanced enough, being confident enough and being trusting enough to be vulnerable will change your life. 

Consistency: Anyone can be great for an hour or a day. Can you do it consistently? Consistency is a key to any Relationship - Personal or Business. If you're behavior is inconsistent, how can you build a foundation?

 

Action Steps:

1. Rate yourself with your partner on a 0-10 scale. 

2. You rate your partner and they rate you.

3. Reverse Engineer Success:  If you rate a "6" in the consistency department, what do you need to do, or what changes are you willing to make to get to a 7 or an 8?

 

New Podcast Every Sunday at 8am PST

 

 

Episode #17 Divorce Through My Son's Eyes

Episode #17  Divorce Through my Son's Eyes.

My ex-wife and I were divorced when my son Daniel was 11 and my daughter Zoë was 9.  Divorce is a very challenging situation involving children, their psychology and how they view the world.

After 11 years, Daniel is now 22 yrs old, and I'm so excited to have him in the studio today to talk about how the divorce looked through a 11 year-old boy's eyes. 

I had some questions:

• Did he know we were having issues?
• When his mom and I were arguing, what was he thinking?
• How did an 11 year old process his parents splitting?
• Did he feel loved?
• Did the divorce affect his behavior?
• How did it feel when your mom was remarried?
• How about when I was remarried?
• Did you have any negative feelings toward your "new" bonus parents?
• How do you feel today?

 

 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Dan

 

New Podcast Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #16: Can Your Relationship Recover from Cheating?

Episode #16: Can Your Relationship Recover from Cheating

 

Cheating can be Devastating  

1. Frame of Reference in the world is shattered.

 

1. 1. 1. What does this all mean?
      2. Insecurities
      3. Uncertainty
      4. Questions about the future

Perspective to Heal and Grow

1. What Role did each of us play in this situation
   1. Is he/she an unfaithful person?
   2. What is he/she lacking from current relationship
   3. What am I not giving him/her in the relationship

 

Action Steps

1. What’s the Next Step?
   1. Real Conversation
   2. What he/she needs
   3. Are you willing to do that?
   4. Agreement.

 

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