Episode #39 How to Ask for What You Want

Again - different individuals with different upbringings and different models of the world.

Some ppl don’t know how to ask for what they want… and it causes challenges… b/c they complain or place blame rather than simply asking.

Almost a covert, passive aggressive manner… and often times don’t even know it.

 

Examples:

 

My Mom: 

 

I’m so tired of this hospital food all-day everyday…. 

 

My sister, who has turned her life upside down attempting to make my mom comfortable and safe… she feels inadequate… or has the need to make her happy.

 

...and so my sister is dancing around attempting to find a solution by saying, would you like to go out to eat today… 

 

  1. Challenge is with complaining or casting this negative general statement… is that it puts the responsibility on someone else to figure out what you want.
    1. which isn’t fair to that person… what are they mind readers?

    2. The person NOT asking for what they want is always disappointed because the OTHERS don’t know                 know how to read their mind.

    1. Constantly disappointed - (Because they don’t know how to ask)

Example: My previous marriage:

  • Messy kitchen table - drop off spot.
  • I didn’t know how to ask… (my mom and dad)
  • So I let the frustration build up inside of me… self talk.
  • Then… something else happens… and there’s an upset.

Business situation… we are more proactive to make something happen.  Expectations are more clear.

 

Action Steps:

  • When you have the urge to complain about something, ask yourself, “what do I really want right now?”
  • Take a Breath - 
  • Rather than expressing what’s wrong, express “what would be great”
  • Recognition - Self Analysis:  Personal Growth.

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